Afternoon Rumble
by MaullarMaullar
Summary: Harima sees something on TV and cooks up a harebrained plot to win Tenma over. And it would've worked if it weren't for those meddling burglars!


Afternoon Rumble

By MaullarMaullar

School Rumble and all associated characters/settings are copyright 2005 Marvelous Interactive Inc and were made up by some Japanese dude who isn't me.

It was a dark and stormy night. No, actually it wasn't at all. It was a balmy and peaceful night in a Japanese town. In a modest house situated in a middle-class suburb, Tenma Tsukamoto knelt on the tatami floor, watching TV. The shortish girl's large blue eyes were positively affixed to the screen, and she might need to stop occasionally to brush aside a strand of her long black hair if the hair on either side of her face weren't tied up in two miniature ponytails, almost resembling antennae, that protruded to the sides.

A docile-looking young woman with shoulder-length black hair and calm red eyes stepped into the doorway from the kitchen. It took the taller girl a few queries of "Nee-san?" to grab Tenma's attention.

"Oh, what's up, Yakumo?"

"Could you lock the door tonight? I read that home invasion robberies have been up."

"Don't worry, don't worry!" Tenma flashed a big smile at her younger sister. "What kind of sister would I be if I didn't watch out for us both?"

"If you're sure..."

Elsewhere in town, in another rather ordinary house, a tall, muscular, mustachioed young man in sunglasses was watching the same TV show. It was a high school drama; in this episode, the main character walked the cute girl he liked home from school. At her doorstep, she looked down at the doormat, blushed, said something--wasn't quite clear--the two leaned in...

Kenji Harima's heart skipped a beat, and he leaned in closer to the TV.

"Of course!" he said to himself. "If I walk Tenma-chan home, then--then..."

No longer paying attention to the TV screen, he sat inert, fantasizing about his favorite person in the world, his only reason for going to school--

"Kenji-kun!" called out a woman's voice from across the house. "Aren't you going to bed? You've got school tomorrow!"

Grumbling, Kenji shut the TV off and retired.

The sun smiled on Yagami High School the next morning. Well, not literally; the sun doesn't really have a face or anything. Tenma and Yakumo walked side-by-side, uniformed in black knee-high stockings, red skirts and beige vests over white short-sleeved shirts, among the small throng of students entering the school. Not far behind loped Kenji, mumbling about his undying adoration for Tenma, apparently unaware that the object of his affections was well within earshot.

Fortunately for him, Tenma was equally oblivious, immersed in thoughts of curry, TV dramas and, of course, the handsome Karasuma-kun.

The school day passed without incident; Tenma received a failing grade (but didn't seem to care), Kyosuke Imadori hit on Mikoto Suou and received a punch in the nose for his efforts, and people mostly avoided the imposing Kenji.

Class got out, and Kenji started to look for Tenma. In his head he was telling her what an honor it would be to walk her home. She would lean against his musclebound side, her cheeks turning rosy pink, and after a moment's hesitation he would put an arm around her...

Kenji felt a fat hand clamp down on his shoulder and half-turned to face a man who dwarfed even him. Well, he wasn't actually looking him in the face. If anything, he was looking at the other man's chest.

"Harima, you bastard!" exclaimed the fat, bald man. "What happened to our duel!"

"Oh, right. I kinda... forgot. Sorry."

"I've had enough of your arrogance!" The man backed off and got into a fighting stance that was rendered far less impressive by his massive gut. "This time, you're going down!"

"Well, I guess I have a minute to entertain you, Tennouji." Kenji dropped into his own stance without bothering to remove his jacket. "But we have to make this quick. I need to be somewhere real soon."

"Oooooh, a date--"

"HARIKEN KICK!" Kenji quickly shut his opponent up with his trademark flying kick, then began to yell at the smitten Tennouji, not quite realizing the futility of talking to an unconscious person. "That's none of your business! Now I--oh, CRAP! It's already 3! I've got to hurry!"

The man in sunglasses took off running in the general direction of the Tsukamoto residence.

At the house in question, Tenma and Yakumo were removing their shoes at the doorstep. Sliding the door open, Yakumo headed for her room to change into casual clothing as Tenma ran to the TV.

Halfway to her room, Yakumo stopped in the middle of the hall and realized that the door hadn't been locked when they arrived. The two sisters lived alone, and she was certain she'd locked it when they left...

Someone grabbed Yakumo from behind, pinning her arms to her torso, and she had just enough time to yell at Tenma to get out of the house and call the police before a gloved hand covered her mouth.

Tenma, hearing her sister, was torn for a second between going to help her and doing what she said. She realistically assessed her odds against one or more likely armed robbers, and bolted. Unfortunately, in her panic she crashed into the doorframe. Her skull cracked the wood and she was out.

A throbbing pain rang through Tenma's head. She began to whine, but only heard a "mmmph, mmmmph." Thinking she'd forgotten how to talk, she panicked for a second before noticing the several strips of duct tape over her closed lips. Trying to remove it quickly alerted her to the presence of more duct tape wrapped around her wrists, holding her arms behind her back. Pulling in vain at her bonds, she also noticed some more duct tape wrapped around her ankles, holding her legs together in front of her.

"Mmmph..."

Wait. That wasn't Tenma's voice. She looked over to the source of the sound to see her similarly bound and gagged sister giving her a concerned look.

Yakumo was genuinely worried. Her beloved older sister didn't look hurt, but it was anyone's guess what the robbers might do when they were done looting the house. She found it strange that her assailants were able to take her by surprise--usually she was able to read males' minds.

Tenma's eyes lit up as a black cat walked into the room. She tried to call out to her pet, without much success. "MMMPH!" she cried as the cat nonchalantly left... through the house's back door!

Yakumo attempted a "wait, nee-san!" (of course, it was unintelligible) as her sister lay down prone and attempted to squirm her way to the back door. Her worries were vindicated as two figures in black clothing and ski masks entered the room.

Tenma instinctively turned to see who had entered, and her eyes bulged as one of the burglars walked toward her. With a "MMMMMPH!" she tried to squirm faster, only to be grabbed, nowhere near the back door, and held down as the burglar drew a roll of duct tape.

Kenji stood on the doorstep of the Tsukamoto residence, deep in thought. It seemed he'd missed Tenma entirely, but if he just knocked on the door and asked to come in, she might think he was a stalker or something... he needed a reason to be at her house. Going home and trying again the next day wouldn't do; with the school year coming to a close, every day counted. Throwing caution to the wind, Kenji resolved to knock, assuring himself that something would come to him before Tenma answered the door.

Kenji delivered three sharp raps to the door and waited. Nobody came to the door, although he could've sworn he had heard activity inside. A little confused, Kenji decided to try the back door, and walked around the house.

As he peeked into the back door, a very strange scene greeted Kenji's eyes. A person dressed in black and a ski mask was holding a bound and gagged Yakumo, while a similarly dressed person was securing a similarly bound Tenma to a chair. Seeing the barbaric way the burglars had bound his beloved (and completely ignoring Yakumo), Kenji flew into a rage that was evident even through his sunglasses.

Tenma said a muffled hello as Kenji stepped into the doorframe, the thump of his shoe against the deck resonating authoritatively throughout the house, freezing the burglars in their tracks. His long shadow covered the burglars, and for what seemed like ten minutes no one budged.

Kenji, with a terrifying yell of "TENMA-CHAAAN," lunged like a jungle cat at the closer burglar and drove his burly fist into the ski mask, narrowly missing Yakumo. The other burglar attempted to flee, but was caught in the back by Kenji's Hariken Kick and thrown unceremoniously into a wall.

Having released the Tsukamoto sisters and ensured (after five minutes of hysterically asking if she was okay) that Tenma was unharmed, Kenji turned to the two would-be burglars lying in the corner. He roughly grasped both ski masks and yanked them up.

He froze. The burglars' faces were those of women. Tenma blinked. Yakumo suddenly realized how she had been taken by surprise.

Kenji ran screaming from the Tsukamoto residence. Stopping at a bus stop, he fell to his knees and grasped his head.

"I hit a girl! Not just one, but two of them! In front of Tenma-chan! Now she'll think I'm violent to women! AUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!"

The students sitting at the bus stop edged away from him.

-The End-


End file.
